It is impossible to maintain
successful relationships without forgiveness.
Without forgiveness, resentments and mistrust grow. Resentments and mistrust act as toxic poisons
and kill (destroy) relationships. Be
quick to forgive.
Let the sun not set with you in a provoked state. Ephesians 4:26
What if we are unable to forgive
quickly? Emotional wounds take time,
love and patience to heal. Love and
patience help us to forgive someone whom we perceive is really trying.
It serves us well to remember to
ask the Creator/God to cultivate a forgiving spirit toward any offender who
makes an honest effort to alter their thoughtless, unkind, harmful words and/or
actions, and sincerely asks for our forgiveness.
Hmmm … We ask for a forgiving
spirit … What does that mean?
When we are on the receiving end
of thoughtless, unkind, harmful words and/or actions, it can be difficult for
us to allow these words and/or actions to pass through us,. This is
due, largely in part, because reactions to personal offenses are usually
emotion based reactions. Emotional
responses to perceived offenses can range from mild to strong; it is not
uncommon for us to feel angry or betrayed; we may even desire justice or
revenge.
When we are hurt by others, we often want to retaliate and hurt them back
in some way, as pay back. We can reduce anger and other negative
emotions with understanding, open-mindedness, a willingness to forgive,
and love for one another.
When others offend us, being
willing to forgive, out of love, keeps us from
automatically assuming that anothers motives are bad.
Above all things, have intense love for one another, because
love covers a multitude of sins. 1
Peter 4: 8
Continue putting up with one another and
forgiving one another freely if anyone has a cause for complaint against another. Even as
Jehovah freely forgave you, so do you also. But, besides all these things,
[clothe yourselves with] love, for it is a perfect bond of union. Colossians 3:13-14
Determining why we are upset reduces our emotional
responses. Using our rational mind to
analyze offensive words and/or actions, and understanding the reason(s) for our
reaction, allows us to consider what would be the most appropriate response.
Do not hurry yourself in your spirit to become offended,
for the taking of offense is what rests in the bosom of the stupid ones. Ecclesiastes 7:9
Taking time to calm down and
view the situation from the position of an “objective observer” helps us to remain
open-minded and respond more appropriately. When we
remove our subjective, emotional selves from the picture and examine the
scenario as objective observers, we find that many negatively perceived words
and actions flow right through us. The
more we practice taking our subjective,
emotional selves out of the picture, the more we will see that most of the
things that are said or done to us, is not personal; it is not about us. This objectiveness helps us see that others
typically are not being deliberately hurtful
or thoughtless; our offenders are simply being their imperfect human selves.
He that is slow to anger is abundant in
discernment, but one that is impatient is exalting foolishness. Proverbs 14:29
The insight of a man certainly slows down
his anger, and it is beauty on his part to pass over transgression Proverbs 19:11
Know this, my beloved brothers. Every man
must be swift about hearing, slow about speaking, slow about wrath; for man’s
wrath does not work out God’s righteousness. James 1:19-20
By maintaining a positive view
of our offender, in spite of what they are saying or doing to us, we build them
up, rather than tear them down. When we reflect
back to them what we perceive they are putting out, we give ourselves, and
them, an opportunity to clear up misunderstandings; each is also given the
opportunity to gain/maintain control over their own behavior. What a gift!
Therefore keep comforting one another and
building one another up, just as you are in fact doing. 1 Thessalonians
5:11
We each have that power within
us to create love, joy, peace and contentment, within our own hearts. Learn to forgive. If anybody upsets us, don’t take it to heart,
forgive them. If we have any ill-feelings,
any grudges, please forgive them.
Forgive them, that's the only way
we can go forward and go on with our life. Grandmother Agnes (13 Indigenous Grandmothers)
So it is, sealed in trust, faith
and truth, in the Sacred Divine Light (Jesus Christ).
Amen
No comments:
Post a Comment