FORGIVENESS: Part 2 of 2

It is impossible to maintain successful relationships without forgiveness.  Without forgiveness, resentments and mistrust grow.  Resentments and mistrust act as toxic poisons and kill (destroy) relationships. Be quick to forgive.

Let the sun not set with you in a provoked state.   Ephesians 4:26

What if we are unable to forgive quickly?  Emotional wounds take time, love and patience to heal.  Love and patience help us to forgive someone whom we perceive is really trying.  

It serves us well to remember to ask the Creator/God to cultivate a forgiving spirit toward any offender who makes an honest effort to alter their thoughtless, unkind, harmful words and/or actions, and sincerely asks for our forgiveness. 

Hmmm … We ask for a forgiving spirit … What does that mean?

When we are on the receiving end of thoughtless, unkind, harmful words and/or actions, it can be difficult for us to allow these words and/or actions to pass through us,.  This is  due, largely in part, because reactions to personal offenses are usually emotion based reactions.  Emotional responses to perceived offenses can range from mild to strong; it is not uncommon for us to feel angry or betrayed; we may even desire justice or revenge. 

When we are hurt by others,  we often want to retaliate and hurt them back in some way, as pay back.   We can reduce anger and other negative emotions with understanding, open-mindedness, a willingness to forgive, and love for one another.  

When others offend us, being willing to forgive, out of love, keeps us from automatically assuming that anothers motives are bad.    

Above all things, have intense love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins.  1 Peter 4: 8

Continue putting up with one another and forgiving one another freely if anyone has a cause for complaint against another. Even as Jehovah freely forgave you, so do you also. But, besides all these things, [clothe yourselves with] love, for it is a perfect bond of union.  Colossians 3:13-14

Determining why we are upset reduces our emotional responses.  Using our rational mind to analyze offensive words and/or actions, and understanding the reason(s) for our reaction, allows us to consider what would be the most appropriate response. 

Do not hurry yourself in your spirit to become offended, for the taking of offense is what rests in the bosom of the stupid ones.  Ecclesiastes 7:9  

Taking time to calm down and view the situation from the position of an “objective observer” helps us to remain open-minded and respond more appropriately. When we remove our subjective, emotional selves from the picture and examine the scenario as objective observers, we find that many negatively perceived words and actions flow right through us.  The more  we practice taking our subjective, emotional selves out of the picture, the more we will see that most of the things that are said or done to us, is not personal; it is not about us.   This objectiveness helps us see that others typically are not being deliberately hurtful or thoughtless; our offenders are simply being their imperfect human selves. 

He that is slow to anger is abundant in discernment, but one that is impatient is exalting foolishness.  Proverbs 14:29 

The insight of a man certainly slows down his anger, and it is beauty on his part to pass over transgression  Proverbs 19:11  

Know this, my beloved brothers. Every man must be swift about hearing, slow about speaking, slow about wrath; for man’s wrath does not work out God’s righteousness.  James 1:19-20  

By maintaining a positive view of our offender, in spite of what they are saying or doing to us, we build them up, rather than tear them down.  When we reflect back to them what we perceive they are putting out, we give ourselves, and them, an opportunity to clear up misunderstandings; each is also given the opportunity to gain/maintain control over their own behavior.  What a gift!

Therefore keep comforting one another and building one another up, just as you are in fact doing.  1 Thessalonians 5:11

We each have that power within us to create love, joy, peace and contentment, within our own hearts.  Learn to forgive.  If anybody upsets us, don’t take it to heart, forgive them.  If we have any ill-feelings, any grudges, please forgive them.  Forgive them,  that's the only way we can go forward and go on with our life. Grandmother Agnes (13 Indigenous Grandmothers) 

 

So it is, sealed in trust, faith and truth, in the Sacred Divine Light (Jesus Christ). 

Amen